Disconnection Limits Your Joy and Success

Many people come to me feeling like something is missing.  Their lives just don’t have the joy that they used to…and they can’t put their finger on why. In working with them, most often we find that it is DISCONNECTION in their lives that is driving their depression, anxiety or limiting their success.

What Causes Disconnection?

Both our past experiences and fear can cause us to disconnect from those around us.  Whatever we have experienced in our lives, these “lessons” teach us how to interact with people.  We are afraid that what has happened before will happen again, so we don’t venture out.  We let our fear limit our connections with others.  Here’s something about fear…a great acronym that I learned a while back:

Fear is really just





What does that mean, exactly?  It means that we cook up in our head the WORST possible outcome and we believe it will really happen that way.  In reality, it usually doesn’t happen that the WORST possible outcome happens.  This means that by cooking up the WORST possible outcome, we experience FEAR and we limit our connection with others.  We do this often before we test to see if the outcome will be as bad as we’ve made it in our heads.  We don’t chance the rejection or hurt (even if it’s not really there!).

For example, you may have lost touch with a friend.  You may start to cook up reasons why she won’t want to talk to you.  You may have had other friends that you’ve lost touch with that have not wanted to reconnect.  This experience with other people then bleeds over into your current situation and prevents you from reaching out to this friend.  Your FEAR encourages you to DISCONNECT.

The reality of the situation may be that this particular friend has also been busy and hasn’t reached out to you.  Or she would really LOVE to hear from you, but doesn’t have your contact info any longer.  But because we have FEAR and we have LEARNED from previous relationships, we stop trying to connect with this long lost friend.


How to Overcome Disconnection:

Think about areas of your life or people that you may be disconnected from.  What is the FEAR that you have that prevents you from trying to connect with them?  What would happen if you tried to connect these areas of your life?  Chances are you will have a happier, more rewarding, fulfilled life.